To spawn or not to spawn (day 186)

Recently a book review in the Globe and Mail caught my eye, and the eye of many others. It became one of the most shared articles for the week.  The book?  No Kids - 40 good reasons not to spawn.  It caught my eye because I'm quite ambivalent about having kids but deep down I think "but everyone says it's so wonderful, am I missing out?"  It was actually refreshing to hear a woman say "I had kids and I regret it".  I haven't read the book and judging by the review it may be quite deliberately provocative.  Still it's a voice that's not often heard.
Corrine Maier wrote the book in reaction to a policy push in France to promote higher birth rates.  Apparently the policy worked.  But the author claims many have been duped into procreation by a baby marketing drive.  She is there to prevent that from spreading.

She took a pretty big beating in the comments section particularly because she apparently gave a copy of the book to her two children (who can read).   I'm assuming they've been around her antics long enough not to pay too much attention.  Love is in the details.  Nonetheless, it will make for some good stories later on.

I think having kids is like winning the lottery.  If you were happy before, you'll be happy after. If you were miserable before you'll be miserable after.  Same thing when the bio-clock stops.  There's no point agonizing over what could have been or resenting your own life.  So, as much as I admire Corinne for having written the book, I think a pros and cons kind of list doesn't really cut it when it comes to kids.

For reference, here are the 40 reasons:

1. The desire for children: A false aspiration.
2. Childbirth is torture.
3. Don't become a travelling feeding bottle.
4. Continue to amuse yourself.
5. Subway-job-kids: No thank you!
6. Hold onto your friends.
7. Do not adopt the idiot language we use to address children.
8. To open the nursery is to close the bedroom.
9. Child, the killer of desire.
10. They are the death knell of the couple.
11. To be or to make: You shouldn't have to choose.
12. The child is a kind of vicious dwarf, of an innate cruelty.
13. It is conformist.
14. Children are too expensive.
15. You become an ally of capitalism.
16. They will destroy your time and your freedom.
17. The worst drudgery for the parents.
18. Do not be deceived by the notion of the ideal child.
19. You will inevitably be disappointed by your child.
20. To become a merdeuf (soccer mom) - what horror!
21. Parenting above all else - no thanks.
22. Block your professional path with children.
23. Families: They are horror and cruelty.
24. Don't fall into an overgrown childhood.
25. To persist in saying "me first" is a badge of courage.
26. A child will kill the fond memories of your childhood.
27. You will not be able to prevent yourself from wanting your child to be happy.
28. Child care is a set of impossible dilemmas.
29. School: a prison camp with which you'll have to make a pact.
30. To raise a child, but toward what kind of future?
31. Flee from the benevolent blandness.
32. Parenting will make you soft.
33. Motherhood is a trap for women.
34. To be a mother, or to succeed: You must choose.
35. When the child appears, the father disappears.
36. The child of today must be a perfect child: a brave new world.
37. Your child will be in constant danger from pedophiles and pornographers.
38. Why contribute to a future of unemployment and social exclusion?
39. There are too many children in the world.
40. Turn your back on the ridiculous rules of the "good" parent.

Two songs for this post.
One for the adventure without kids.
One for the adventure with kids.
Same artist.

Norwalk with me (day 123)

One of the hazards of hanging out with young kids is germs.  Kids touch everything and then they touch you...on your face, on your hands...it's a germ heaven.  On this particular bliss-filled vacation with my niece and nephew, a Norwalk-type virus found its way in.  I started feeling sick as we rolled out of the driveway and it took all the will power I had to keep everything in until we rolled onto our street.  I barely made it to the bathroom.  Then ensued the harshest ten hours of purging I can remember, including all my childhood (perhaps my mom would differ in opinion).   So this is why two days of blogging were dropped.

I am now getting back on solid foods and wondering why the world looks so bleak.  It's an interesting side-effect of being sick - a sort of dead zone where all your plans were dropped and now the threads are nowhere to be found.  I'm actively looking for the threads -- trying desperately to restart the routines but so far this blog is the only thing that's been restarted.  Before this I hadn't been sick in fifteen months...I'm out of practice.

I figure I can view it as a type of rebirth into the new year.  A clean slate.

A song for this post.