Steps to generosity (day 126)

I used to think New Year's resolutions were contrived and stupid, usually involving losing weight.  An ex changed my mind about that, though his impact was not really felt until years later.  He made serious resolutions with serious intent.   On the one hand I found it pompous and self-important.  On the other hand, I found it admirable and courageous.   I was torn possibly because I didn't share his sensibilities -- his resolutions would not have been mine.   Even though I secretly admired his courage, I did not mimic his actions.  Sometimes the presence of an experienced resolutioner is enough to intimidate one away from practicing being a resolutioner.

Fast forward a few years and, no longer hampered by the long shadow of someone else's experience, I'm intrepidly eliciting resolutions of my own. 

The resolution for this year:  To be more generous.
I like this one because it can have so many interpretations.  Being generous is related to being public which gives some continuity from last year.  I'm not sure what form being more generous will take yet but I suspect I will work on creating more space for good communication with the people in my life.  Maybe this means changing the way I communicate,  inviting people for dinner, giving my time to projects that need it.  In general, I think generosity means giving without fear.

If I lose weight from being more generous, awesome.

A song for this post.

Gravity of time (day 124)

I saw my friend Yutai today.  He was visiting from San Francisco with his girlfriend.  Many of us met at a pub to see him.  Looking around the table it struck me how we are all aging.  That's what happens when you only see people every few years.  It's as if the context of the friendship stays frozen and the realization of change is a cosmic joke tinged with sadness. 

Sitting around the table looking at everyone and hearing the plans everyone has to say goodbye to the decade, I remembered how ten years ago saying goodbye to the decade had been a much more even mixture of hello and goodbye.   True it's hard to compete with a new millenium but this year has also had quite a lot of bad news on a global level.  Who could blame us for not being super positive about the year ahead and for not wanting to think in ten year terms.  Not one person asked about New Year's resolutions.

Yutai claims this year has been 42% less fun.  Surely that's reason for hope for next year and a reason to look for ways to brighten someone's day.

A nostalgic song for this post.