Talking peace (day 117)

This is the first post away from home.  After spending the last 10 minutes trying to remember my brother's wireless password, I've given up and I'm writing in Evernote so I can post the entry tomorrow.

It took almost seven hours to go from my doorstep in Kits Point to my brother's doorstep on Bainbridge Island.  That's a cab ride (15 minutes), a wait/customs/wait(1 hour), a train ride (3.5 hours), a wait (1 hour), a ferry ride (30 minutes), and a car ride (20 minutes).  That's long enough to listen to an audio book almost in its entirety ("Speaking Peace") and get through a big chunk of a physical book ("Open GL Shading Language").

"Talking Peace" is an audio recording about non-violent communication (NVC) that was recommended by a couple friends of mine (independently).  NVC is a fascinatingly simple yet effective way to communicate without judgement.   At its core is the belief that human beings like to make other human beings happy, and also like having their own needs met.  It's an optimistic belief but I reason that it is less depressing than the alternatives so why not.   Plus it seems to work.  The idea is to state what we feel, need, and want (in that order).  Then listen and empathize.  And repeat. 

One problem is that most of us have poor vocabularies with which to state what we feel and need.  Another is that we often want to state our wants in terms of negatives ("don't do that") and demands ("if you don't...").  So NVC is hard and requires a lot of mindfulness and awareness, not to mention trial and error.

I wonder how many people come to a point in their lives when they realize that they could use better communication skills.  When they realize that conflicts never seem to quite resolve and relationships stagnate because of it.  Is this the same as coming to the end of my twenties and realizing that now the expectations were going to be much higher going forward?  In my forties, I believe I'm expected to have better communication skills. 

A song for this post.

Avatar (day 116)

Color me blue.  I just saw Avatar.  We were first in line so we got the best 3D seats in the house.  The whole outing took 5 hours.  As long as a flight to Montreal.

Verdict:  Absolutely go see it, for the visuals.
Subtext: It's no Matrix but it will have a generational impact nonetheless...maybe similar to Toy Story.

Here are some observations in no particular order:

• Patriarchy in movies is getting really annoying.
• Beautiful visuals, light as a theme, networks, greens and purples.
• Headless robots as avatars for military men.
• Blue lithe bodies as avatars for peace-loving, planet-connected, people.
• The blue people never eat.
  
• Great body movements.  Wonderful choreography.
  
• Great flying scenes.
  
• Standard Hawks vs. Doves story.  Hawks attack doves, doves initially retreat, eventually become hawks.  No one really learns peace.  A sequel would be another war.
• Movie was long but not noticeably.
  
• 3D was extremely well done and for the most part, for good effect.

Getting out of the movie there was a feeling of coming out of a dream, like disconnecting from an avatar.  Christopher and I had a discussion about how long we would stay in a movie for, if there were options of say day long or week long movies.  An accelerated life, like Total Recall.  In fact, Avatar is very much in the same vein as Total Recall, Strange Days, Existenz, Matrix.  The difference is that Pandora is a world you might actually want to stay in.   And of course the possibility of fully letting go of your human body is different.  A rebirth from hawk to dove (ostensibly...though in practice the affect was not exactly that).

There are so many parallels to be drawn, it's hard to put a finger on why it misses the mark exactly.  It's a dark film with lots of suffering, lots of fighting.  You should maybe get out thinking about the earth differently but instead you wish to escape it, to go to a better place.  It seems hopeless at its core even though we are shown the protagonist finding his way 'home'.  Because the vast majority of humans are shown as vicious, and heartless, going back to earth -- no doubt preparing for another battle.

A song for this post.