In praise of boredom (day 131)

I try to meditate every day for at least 10 minutes.  These days because I'm still on semi-vacation I sit for 30-60 minutes.   There is a special kind of boredom that develops while meditating.  You see, at first meditating is extremely interesting - there is so much going on.  Then it gets repetitive and frustrating.  Then you kind of give up and it gets really really boring.  I call it the grey zone.  It's like feeling eternity or something.  Apparently it's a good thing.  If I could relax into the boredom there would be something else.  I've had glimpses and I think it's worth staying with the program.   Someone once told me "it's worth asking the questions, what or who is boring exactly? And, what or who is bored? There's no one else here after all."

Meditating is almost the exact opposite of being online.  When I'm online if I wait long enough I will be entertained and if I'm bored it's my fingers' fault for not clicking fast enough.  The days of 57 channels are over.  So yes, asking the question of what or who is bored and boring is indeed worth asking especially when I'm bored online.  We spend a lot of time making sure we are not considered boring, and are not bored.  The state of boredom is so avoided it's suspicious.

Turns out boredom is empty space and feels a bit like standing a little too long on a suspension bridge - the possibilities are existentially frightening.   The anxiety of not knowing where to click next for a byte of entertainment may force us to see what we're not looking at, not doing, not thinking about.  We're not bored, we're scared.

Like disappointment, boredom has some good potential content.

A song for this post.