Experiment of a benign addict (day 17)

It's official, I am now off caffeine. I quit primarily because I was tired of not having the choice of skipping the coffee unless I was ready to deal with the headache that inevitably would surface roughly six hours later. The move was prompted by my usual supplier of coffee beans not having my favourite beans to sell for days in a row. After a while I started feeling like an addict showing up and sheepishly asking for the beans. And some mornings I would wake up late and be resentful that I couldn't just skip the coffee to gain some time. I know this is a ritual for most adults in this culture and certainly I love the joe but there was this moment where I started feeling ridiculous for being so directed by it. I listened to the moment and thought ok let's just say I don't do this anymore.

A couple days of headaches later, and I'm free. It feels really good and I save time and money. The only thing is, I now have these small urges to reach for my absent cup of coffee. Usually when a moment is uncomfortable or confusing, or if a task hits a wall and I just need some time away from it. It's something between an avoidance mechanism, a sensory reset, and a security blanket. It's been interesting noting when it happens. Now I need to figure out whether I replace it with herbal tea of some kind or just find a new thing to insert into those moments. I think maybe I'll see if every time it happens, I can just become conscious of my breath and relax into a sigh or something. Could be interesting. No doubt this would take care of itself over time but while the contrast is still high, I'll experiment.

A song for this post.